PROBABLY ANSWERED HERE.
PLEASE REVIEW THE DETAILS BELOW. LOTS OF HELPFUL INFO AND PROBABLY WILL ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS YOU MAY HAVE BEFORE MEETING.
All dates require a 25% deposit to be paid at time of booking. There are no exceptions. I accept CashApp, Venmo, & occasionally gift cards on a case-by-case basis. You might try to convince me you don’t have access to these things, and if you don’t, that’s fine. But I can’t help ya.
Deposits are nonrefundable, always. In the rare event that I have to cancel, I will refund the deposit within 48 hours if we are not able to reschedule.
I understand life happens. While I am often sympathetic to your circumstances, be it illness, death, alien abduction, or the like, I have still invested time and money into preparing for our date. I enforce a firm but fair cancellation policy.
72+ hours in advance: I offer rescheduling with the original deposit on file within one month of our originally planned date with no additional fee
Within 72 hours: 50% fee due
Within 24 hours: 100% fee due
Payment of the cancellation fee is expected within 48 hours via either CashApp or Venmo.
The most efficient way to complete screening is via the booking form on my website. You may also reach out to me via email at email@example.com with the required information.
Please do not reach out to me just to harangue me about my screening methods and explain your various, so-important-yet-still-totally-obtuse reasons why you cannot screen. I do not care. I value my freedom and I value my life. I also value your privacy and my reputation. Your information is safe with me. IF YOU ARE NOT PREPARED TO SEND PHOTO ID, PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME.
Thank you so much for thinking of me. Love this journey for us. Gifts are always appreciated but never expected. If you show up and treat me kindly, I promise you that’s more than enough. For the lover who may like to do a little something extra, please check the details below with my wishlists and fund transfer options. I’m always charmed to receive my fee tucked inside of your favorite book.
Please read over these helpful (I promise) guidelines to help our date go smoothly.
- Please don’t make me ask for the envelope. It’s uncomfortable, but l’ll have to do it. It sets a tense tone, so let’s not.
- A simple envelope is fine. There’s not always time to pick up something else. I do love to receive it tucked in a book or in a sweet greeting card, quite a delight.
- Allow me a moment alone so that I can count. This is a great time to excuse yourself to the bathroom to freshen up.
- If you’ve freshly showered before arrival, please still wash your hands. There’s a lot to touch before you get to me, so please consider my health.
- If you’ve not had a chance to shower recently, then please take the opportunity to do so. And when I say recently, I mean recently. As in, within an hour or two.
- Guys, take it to heart when I say that our time together will be so much more comfortable and enjoyable if you take a small amount of time freshen up. A little mouthwash is great as well and makes kissing even more pleasurable.
I love snacks. I love them so much. Feel free to bring something, always. I’ll remember you forever. Charcuterie, butterscotch popcorn, a cupcake.
Anything I can feed you with my fingers.
If you want to bring along wine or beer for us to share, I’m happy to join you with a drink. I’m not a big drinker, it’s just not my thing, but a cocktail or two as we get to know each other is nice. I prefer a dryer champagne, an IPA or sour, and pretty much any type of wine that strikes your fancy. I’m not even going to pretend that I know anything about wine. You’d see right through me.
Three hour dates require some sort of sustenance. Snacks are completely fine. Four hours and above require a meal. We. can go out for a fine dining experience, or we can hit a divey spot where we can lean in close and chat in low voices, cozy and coy. I’m most at home in a casual setting. We can stay in, comfortable together, with room service or delivery. Or we can pick up Taco Bell. Options are endless.
I love longer dates and enjoy the different levels of intimacy that they provide. To make our time more comfortable for us both, I do insist on 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep because I am a human and not a robot. Dates 24 hours and longer require some alone time each day, so that we both attend to important matters and I have time alone to get ready and be at my best for you every day.
FMTY inquiries require a $50 consultation fee. This prevents anyone unsavory from wasting my time and assures me that you’re serious, not just interested in chatting. This is either refunded if I can’t make the trip work, or applied to the final balance. If you run off into the night after making me do a bunch of admin work, it’s mine to keep. Once the consultation fee is received I’ll begin gathering the information we’ll need to make arrangements: flight, lodging, travel expense, and balance. Note that while a first class ticket is a treat, it’s not a necessary one on east coast flights. Midwest and west coast, I do require first class tickets because that flight is long as hell and I’d like to be a bit more comfortable. FMTY and extedned dates require a 50% deposit and all travel expenses paid up front with the balance due in cash on arrival.
No reviews, please. I find the review system to be demeaning to women. While I am aware that I am selling a service, it’s a deeply personal service and no person’s experience will be identical to another’s. Please respect me by keeping what goes on between us between us.
I do not accept references as stand-alone screening, merely icing on the proverbial cake that is screening.
I am happy to provide a reference for you after we’ve met, up to two times within six months. Please reach out to me via email to give me a heads up, and direct the companion to my email. Do not give out my phone number without my consent. Any reference requests sent via text will be ignored. Any requests beyond the first two incur a $150 fee.
I am 420 friendly. If you’d like to bring something with you, that’s fine, as long as it’s an unopened, distributer sealed cartridge. if you’d like flower (depending on accommodations) or edibles, please contact me. I can bring them along for $10 a serving.
If you know you’re a weirdo when you get high, don’t do it, I beg of you. It freaks me out and then it’ll get all weird.
If you are a neurodivergent person, on the spectrum, or just generally struggle with face-to-face communication, please do not feel afraid to spend time with me. Intimacy and physical touch is important for all humans, and I’m happy to provide that for you. In lieu of constant verbal communication, we can always have a coffee, a snack, and watch hilarious internet videos together to fill in any conversation gaps between hanky-panky. No pressure for non-stop verbal conversation. I want you to feel as comfortable as possible just being yourself.